When adults or caregivers repeatedly interact in a family system in an unhealthy way, they are imprinting this behavior on their children. Harmful family legacies consist of a pattern of hurtful, painful and/or damaging behaviors that have been passed down from one generation to the next through a process called modeling. If deception is allowed to continue without correction, rather they are maintained, than harmful family legacies can develop. For individuals that are lied to in this particular situation self-doubt can quickly become an ongoing theme in their life. This type of lie can be damaging for several reasons, such as, it creates confusion for others, he/she she begins to question what they believe they saw, heard, or felt. Lies can also be damaging if we pretend something didnt occur or is not occurring. By telling lie after lie, we eventually suffer from building a false version of reality that increasingly distances us from our real selves. Telling a lie is not the worst part of lying, it is maintenance of the lie, telling another lie to support the first and convincing others including ourselves that the lie is the truth. These types of lies can include making false reports, denying something occurred, or creating a fabrication that isnt based on anything real. However, there are other lies that can create harm, leading to distress. This type of lie is done to avoid hurting other persons feelings. Some people lie to spare the feelings of others, for example, if you are asked if the meal tastes good and the individual is waiting excitedly for your response you may agree the meal tastes good when it does not. Although, we often hear a lie is a lie, some lies are more harmful than others. He or she hides the correct information from others allowing deception to occur.

In other words, liars make a conscious choice to provide misleading information and fabricate the truth. One thing that is typically true of all lies involves intent, purpose, and lack of notification of the other party or group. Every person and every family have their own secrets however, the content and significance of the secret varies. Generational lies can be particularly distressing for family members as the lie may have been told and maintained over several generations making it hard to trust other family members and get to the truth. There is no one reason why someone might tell a lie as he/she might tell a lie to escape an uncomfortable situation, shame, guilt, cover up something that occurred, spare someone elses feelings, or in an attempt to hide or mislead.

Everyone tells a lie at some point or other in their life, no one is perfect.

Friendships secrets and lies